Comfort 2 Growth

Becoming highly effective at any skill requires two things;  an understanding of the material concepts (science), and an ability to creatively apply them in abstract form (art).

Generally, poor decisions and failure occur  because of two controllable variables:

1. Over analysis
2. Emotional complication

Over Analysis

We often slow or halt our learning process by over analysis. In other words, we do not allow our creative  side to grow through abstract trial and error. The time spent researching and analyzing different technical aspects of the goal take away from the time that should be dedicated to practice… Read more…

If you know me or have read some of my past writing, you will know I advocate living in the now or in the moment.

The ability to be fully aware of your surroundings and what is happening in your mind is very important to your well being. It promotes relaxation, mental focus and increases your ability to connect with others.

It has been found that the ability to delay gratification, as opposed to succumbing to instant gratification, directly correlates with success, intelligence and general health.

Marshmallow Experiments Read more…

Redwoods don’t reach their heights over night. Mountains take millions of years to reach their peaks. The grand canyon had its beginnings as a small stream. These examples from nature prove to us the power of progression.

Many people are perfectionists. They spend too much time obsessing over minor details.  If you focus on petty flaws, it’s easy to become stressed or discouraged.

Expecting perfection prematurely is a sure fire way to sabotage your goals. The key to growing is progression over time; trying to make each day better than your last. With each step forward you are closer to achieving your dreams. You will get there, as long as you keep moving forward.

Crawl, Walk, Run

There is a learning curve to practically everything in life. Becoming acquainted with a new endeavor is challenging, you must learn the basics. A metaphor of crawling can be used. Like a baby, you begin your journey of growth slowly.

Once you get a grip on the idea, progression becomes easier. You start gaining momentum. You begin walking towards your goal, stretching your legs out.  Creativity begins to strike and you start incorporating your own style.

After you’ve got your legs under you, your skill begins to rapidly increase. You begin running towards your goal. The days of crawling forward are distant moments of your past.

How do you eat an elephant?

Our dreams and goals often seem intimidating. We look at where we are, then imagine where we want to be. The road to that place seems long and arduous. We question our ability to achieve what we aim for.

If you want to eat an elephant, how would do possibly do it? One bite at a time. This is how you achieve your dreams.

Set your sights high. Where do you want to be?

Next, break down that dream in to mile stones. What series of event must take place to put you where you want to be?

Continue breaking down these milestones until you come to where you are today. What is the absolutely next tangible step to put yourself in the direction of where you want to be?

Is it to research schools or certifications? Is it to pick up the phone and schedule an interview? Figure out the smallest, first step to put yourself on the path of progression.

Ready, Fire, Aim

We are often scared to take that initial step. Sometimes we have to leap before we look. It’s a ready, fire, aim mentality.

You point yourself in the right direction, take that first shot, then evaluate what you need to do to improve. If you repeat this process over and over again, you will grow every time. You can truly discover where your passion lies.

Don’t let the Negative Nancys or the Naysaying Neds of the world discourage you from your goals. It is better to risk today, because tomorrow you can always try again.

Breaking the law is a pretty serious thing. When was your last time?

You may have broken it and not even noticed…

If you drive above the speed limit, even by a couple MPH, you are breaking the law. If you J-walk, you are breaking the law. If you text while driving, at least in NC, you are breaking the law. There are even laws that have been passed that restrict what sexual positions you can enjoy.

It is a comfortable thought that law enforcement and the government have our best interests in mind. Unfortunately, this complacent thinking could land you in jail. Learn to flex your rights! Read more…

How do you decide to spend your time, money or other resources?

People tend to be loss averse. Meaning that we do not want to waste our resources, or feel like we are.

We often form emotional attachments to our decisions and commitments. For example, if you spend a significant amount of time on a project, an emotional attachment to this project will begin to form. This isn’t a bad thing, it just happens. We tend to form bonds with the things that we spend our resources on.

We feel compelled to recover our investment, even if it requires spending MORE money, time or happiness.

From an economists point of view, this emotional attachment to a past cost can be irrational, illogical and negatively affect our future. This has been coined as the Sunk Cost Fallacy.

The idea is that the past, or previous investment, should not be considered when making a decision. It is a sunk cost, it has already been incurred. Since it can not be recovered, it should not factor in to the decision.

There are only two things that should be considered. Current and future costs and benefits.

For example, Imagine you are half way through watching a movie and realize it is terrible.  If you force yourself to continue and finish the movie because you had already spent time/money on it, you would be committing the sunk cost fallacy. You could be investing your time on something better.

Trent at The Simple Dollar, explains it better than I do in this article.

This emotion based fallacy can often be seen in dysfunctional relationships. When an unhappy couple stays together longer because they’ve been together for so long already. They allow their fear of feeling like they’ve waste their time to make them waste even more time.

Moral of this story: Make now-based decisions. Ask yourself: Is this the best decision to make now? Will the next course of action or investment required worth the risk and subsequent benefit?

Becoming successful with women is not as tough as you may think.

Yes, good looks help. Having a strong muscular body helps too. Having money and cool friends are also pluses. However, these traits are not the end all be all.

Every single one of us can do something to improve our effectiveness with women. This can be accomplished through improving our style, working on our physical fitness, and mastering social skills. These three factors weigh heavily on how a woman will perceive you and how likely she will be to consider you as a potential mate.

With that being said… Read more…

This is my first post in a series I will call “For Men Only” and abbreviated as ‘FMO’.  This series will cover topics and ideas that revolve around the male life style.

Some of you may have issues with gender roles or have differing ideas about how a man should conduct his life; if you do, please voice your opinions in the comments section. These are only my opinions and thoughts that come from my life experience.

Manning Up

Man up. Be a man about it. Don’t be a little girl. Man handled. Macho Man Randy Savage.

Depending on who you ask, being ‘The Man’ can mean very different things.

I do not have all the traits of the ideal Man. In fact, I am far from it. However, I do have an idea of the man I’d like to be.

Can the quality of a man be measured quantitatively? Maybe. Testosterone, the male sex hormone, regulates functions and influences emotions that make a man act like a ‘Man’. Does the level of Testosterone in your body dictate or limit your ability to be manly?

Testosterone plays a vital role in muscle development. It increases sex drive. On an emotional level, it facilitates dominance and aggression. It promotes facial hair growth and other defining sex characteristics. This is the short list of the positive effects of testosterone on the male body.

Testosterone levels can be influenced. Through natural ways: diet, strength training, sexual activity, and participation in competition. There are also various unnatural ways to increase its presence in the body, generally with dubious side effects.

Are these the only traits that matter? Read more…

Are you drifting down the river of life? Aimlessly floating along until something happens or takes control? Do you have an idea of what is around the next bend? Do you even want to know?

We can  set our sights on a goal,  then begin rowing towards it. Our arms can become tired or the distance seem too great. But with that first stroke and each consecutive, you build momentum and become closer. Even in uncharted waters.

At times our vessel may veer off course, but if you constantly reevaluate your path and steer yourself back on track, you will continue to grow.

Or we can just carelessly and comfortably float along. To some, floating along is nice. No worries, no stress, no thinking required. Rarely does this aimless float bring us to the place of our dreams. Rarely does this constant drift stay careless.

Where are you headed?