In my brief time here on this earth, I have learned that most people panic. They lose control of their minds and bodies. They make poor decisions based on limited logic and high emotion. The end result is usually disastrous.

Great leaders and heroes through history are generally known to be calm, cool and collected under pressure. Their ability to size up a situation, regardless of its circumstances, and then make a logical decision is very powerful and practical.

Sometimes these calm decisions won’t always be right, but in most cases they are far better than panicking and making the situation worse.

Hostile Situations

If you are stranded in water, lost in the woods, faced with a predator or any other hostile opponent; the best thing you can do is remain calm and look for the next best move to make.

Flailing in the water, desperately trying to stay afloat, will drain your energy. If you panic in the woods and run in the wrong direction, you could become further lost. Predators have evolved to target the weak, they can smell fear and will always pursue the insecure, isolated or injured.

The first step when faced with a stressful situation is to remove your emotions and irrational fear. If the odds seem insurmountable, which they rarely are, then you must logically calculate your best move for survival.

Calmly, yet without hesitation, observe then analyze the situation. Next, gather key information that will allow you to most effectively react and take control.

Fight or Flight

When we let our emotions run rampant, our hearts and nerves go wild. Our adrenalin starts to rush. Our bodies almost become uncontrollable. This is our instinctual fight or flight defense mechanism kicking in.

Adrenalin allows us to perform at super human levels. Our pain threshold sky rockets, we are at our strongest, and our normal risk aversion is temporarily gone. This response can be a great tool to escape stressful situations.

However,  overtime, this response can be very unhealthy. An adrenalin response is followed by spike of cortisol in our blood. This hormone is damaging; it can lower your immune system, damage the circulatory system and, among other things, cause ulcers.

After calmly assessing the initial situation, we can control our reaction. If we see a logical plan and the steps we must take to complete it; our flight or fight instinct will remain at bay. The key is recognizing your emotions, then getting a grip on them.

Taking a deep breath and quieting the mind will help you stay calm and centered.

Follow Through

Do you know anyone that remains graceful under pressure? How do they handle stressful situations? Most people are not born this way. Fortunately this trait can be acquired through effort.

The ability to remain cool is generally a result of confidence. Confidence is not achieved until experience has been earned through trail, error and conquered failure.

Repeating the process of calmly gathering information, analyzing it, then making the most appropriate maneuver can be repeated until the hostile situation has been handled.

With enough practice, this skill will become second nature. You can, and will, become the person people will look to in a time of stress.

Are you the pack leader?

I’ve noticed, in times of stress, people will instinctively look to the Alpha of the group to see his response. If people turn to you for advice or help, take it as a compliment rather than a nuisance.

Being the Alpha, or the leader, is a position of power and influence. These types of people  get the job done and subsequently get what they want. Losing your cool is a sure fire way to relinquish your power.

Every situation has an absolute best move to make. It is your duty to find it and do it! It could be the difference between success or failure, life or death.

The ability to be fully aware of your surroundings and what is happening in your mind is very important to your well being. It promotes relaxation, mental focus and increases your ability to connect with others.

It has been found that the ability to delay gratification, as opposed to succumbing to instant gratification, directly correlates with success, intelligence and general health.

Marshmallow Experiments

In an experiment, children were offered one marshmallow, but if they could wait for a certain time period before eating it, they would be granted two.

The children who immediately ate the marshmallow, and the others who delayed gratification, were tracked as they grew up. The remarkable results show a very strong, direct correlation with higher test scores, good behavior and overall success in the children who delayed gratification in order to receive two marshmallows.

Continuing this idea of  time orientation, here is a video that explains how to leverage it for an all around better life.

Application

The idea is to cherish the positive memories, learn from your failures, enjoy the pleasures of the present moment, and make decisions based on your goals for the future.

Appreciate your roots. Learn from the past. Enjoy the moment. Walk the path to your dreams.

C2GC: Early Rising Update

It’s been over three weeks of the C2G Early Rising Challenge. I’ve slackened up a bit and over slept a few times, by choice, but I felt it was for best for my overall energy level.

Waking up early has definitely proved its benefits to me and I plan on practicing it past the thirty day mark.

If you have yet to attempt rising early, I recommend giving it a shot. Try it for a week. Consciously attempt to knock out a major action item before you would normally even wake up, it’s pretty enlightening.

C2GC: Ending Information Addiction

The C2GC of Ending Information Addiction is still proving tough. This may be due to my current circumstances of leveraging the web to build my income and plan out some future career steps.

I have however successfully cut down on my TV time. I am watching under an hour of TV programming daily, almost to no time at all. This however may change with the advent of Football season.

Weekend Reading and Links from around the Web

• The U.S. Tax System Explained with Beer
• Pandora - Awesome, free, web radio that finds music based on your preferences.
• Evernote - Allows you to record and remember anything, everywhere. I can jot notes to my phone, clip web media and store files on the web and access them on my phone or by computer. Great organizational tool.
• 8 Ways to Spot Emotional Manipulation
• Consciousness, Qualia, and Self – A discussion about what makes us human and how our interpretation of reality differs from insects and other animals.
• Great Passwork… Anything can be accomplished with outstanding team work!

Enjoy your weekend and push some comfort boundaries!

P.S. Don’t forget to remember what it means to be an American today. Our liberties and freedoms are not granted without sacrifice.

The examples and rhetoric he uses make it very hard for anyone to disconnect with. He tells stories that force you to agree with in fear of being labeled heartless and uncaring towards suffering people

Obama’s ability to market his ideas and message has rarely been seen before in a President. All marketeers should take lesson in how Obama orchestrated his path to the white house. It was pure marketing and persuasive genius.

These skillful tactics that Obama employs make it easy for people to rally emotion behind. Unfortunately, Obama’s messages seem to be more fantasy than truth. More idealistic than feasible. It seems that more and more people are beginning to discover that there may not be much substance behind his powerful rhetoric, as seen in his tanking public opinion poll numbers.

His promises and plans all seem great when he talks of them. Not once did he explain how his plans will actually work. He only stated his intended outcomes; not the necessary leg work, sacrifices, and risks involved.

Proper health care reform is critical for this country. Unfortunately reform can either take us in two directions. Either to a more efficient and effective method to support our citizens; or towards a more bloated, debt-ridden, corrupt system that burdens our future.

I personally do not know the answer or plan to solve this country’s health care crisis. However, I do recognize that people must learn to pull the wool off their eyes and examine the facts and concrete plans that lie underneath the rhetoric.

I found the GOP response by Rep. Boustany quite interesting and I encourage you to check it out. You can find the video here.

Here is another essay on the Obama’s address last night that examines the promises he made in more detail.

Breaking the law is a pretty serious thing. When was your last time?

You may have broken it and not even noticed…

If you drive above the speed limit, even by a couple MPH, you are breaking the law. If you J-walk, you are breaking the law. If you text while driving, at least in NC, you are breaking the law. There are even laws that have been passed that restrict what sexual positions you can enjoy.

It is a comfortable thought that law enforcement and the government have our best interests in mind. Unfortunately, this complacent thinking could land you in jail. Learn to flex your rights!

Why Do We Have Laws?

Most laws have been enacted to help keep us safe from ourselves and each other. We are all required to follow the law or be potentially face punishment by jail time, fines, or mandatory community service.

We all have the ability and choice to break or not break the law. If you are arrested for something you did or did not do, the only thing that matters is what that jury decides. Innocent people do go to jail. Guilty people do get off. Your future and freedom is not something you want to leave up to chance.

Blind Faith

There are many people out there who blindly follow the law and what the government says. They do not question why there are certain laws. They simply believe that since the government said so, it must be right and in their best interest.

In a perfect world, these faithful people would be right. In reality, this is not a perfect world and the government does not always do things in our best interest. Police officers and government officials are people. People make mistakes. People can have ulterior motives. People can lie…

There is a common belief that most people out there are “good” or have the common interest at heart. This is an optimistic outlook, and I am all for optimism, but the power of positive thinking will not keep you out of jail if the jury or judge finds you guilty.

Why You Should Never Talk To The Police

Here is a 2-part video from a class given at a law school. In the first video, the law professor discusses why you should never talk to the police without seeking counsel from a defense attorney. The second video features a police detective discussing his tactics to obtain confessions from the people he has arrested.

Closing

I am not advocating that you break the law. We should all lead our lives in a way that causes minimal harm to others.

In America, you are innocent until proven guilty. If you ever find yourself in a situation where law enforcement is involved, be aware of  the potential repercussions of talking to the police. If I ever have to face such a situation, I know I will be using my 5th amendment right to silence.

Suggested Reading/Videos From Around The Web

• How Police Interrogation Works
• The Philosophy of Liberty
• Citizen’s Guide to Surviving a Police Encounter
• Traffic Stop Scenario

Think about the last time you had to publicly speak or you wanted to approach a cute girl or guy at the bar, did you start talking yourself out of doing it? Did you begin to imagine all the little things that could go wrong or how bad it might hurt if you didn’t know what to say?

The ego is a tool our brain uses to make sense of reality and what is all going on around us. Often times this tool can become a burden. Its fragile sense of self-worth prevents us from taking risks or forces us to do things in order to protect our ego (comfort) boundaries.

Our ego boundary can be defined as our sense of self, the constraints of who we think we are. It defines that voice in our head. The voice that tells us what we deserve, what we should be doing and who we are supposed to be.

A healthy ego boundary can be exemplified by a person who has high self esteem, knows when he is wrong and will admit it. Someone who is outcome independent, meaning that they maintain a positive self image regardless of how a situation turns out, but at the same time recognizes their responsibility or participation in that event. A healthy ego boundary is flexible and does not go to extremes to maintain itself.

On the other hand, an unhealthy ego boundary can be exemplified by someone who will go to extremes to maintain the idea of who they think they are. For example, someone who rationalizes irrational behavior by whatever convenient excuse they can come up with. Someone who always like to play the victim or refuses to admit responsibility for a situation. These people always seem to blame others and think they are right or perfect.

Next, I will present a series of video clips from the movie Revolver which dramatizes a battle of the ego and its boundaries… These videos show how we can become an observer of our ego, effectively realizing that we are not our minds. The thoughts we have are not us, but a creation of our ego. These clips together are about 20 minutes total. If you have the time, I definitely recommend  watching them all.

In this first clip directly below, the concept of the ego is discussed and how it builds our sense of self worth and need for approval. It prepares us for the second clip which showcases the battle of Jake’s ego.

The second clip in this series, which is embedded below, shows a scene where our main character Jake Green goes to murder his perceived enemy. As a point of context, the yellow captions/subtitles at the bottom of the video represent Jake’s ego’s voice, The white captions at the top are Jake’s true self speaking, Ray Liotta or Mr. Macha represents Jake’s perceived enemy. Also, Jake is claustrophobic and terrified of elevators.

Below the video I will have a brief analysis.

As Jake approaches Mr. Macha’s bed his ego (pride) wants retribution for its boundary disruption (the murder of Jake’s friends). Using Andre 3000’s (holy spirit character) advice to use the ego’s enemy to help identify the true enemy (the ego), Jake begins to disconnect from his pride and regains control of his actions.

As Jake enters the elevator and it stops, his fear (ego) of closed spaces kicks in. Jake’s true self begins to recognize the perceived threat is only of his egos making. This allows Jake to conquer his fear and his ego.

At the end of this clip, Jake exits the elevator calm and collected. Mr. Macha (Jake’s ego’s enemy) attempts to dominate and intimidate Jake. Since Jake now controls his ego, Mr. Macha has no influence over him.

Next, the final clip is embedded below. This shows a scene where Andre 3000 discusses the ego’s ability to conceal itself under the guise of being you. This helps illustrate the concept that you are not your mind. That you can have ultimate control of how you feel and how you define your reality.

At the end of this clip there are snippets from different PhDs, MDs and other Pyschoanalysts. I find their discussion very interesting.

You Are Not Your Mind

The purpose of this essay is to make you aware that you can control the thoughts in your mind. That when your ego begins to tell you what or what not to do, that you don’t have to listen.

Sometimes the ego maybe telling you the right thing. That is what we call our conscience. The “angel” on our shoulder telling us not to do something bad to others. But, sometimes the ego prevents us from controlling our future. It prevents us from doing uncomfortable things that will lead to positive growth.

The concept of no-mind, or silencing our ego, is what some people believe is the key to being in the zone. Where you perform at the top of your ability. I will be writing about this no-mind performance in the near future.

Don’t walk (click) away just yet… Indulge in this way of thinking for a second.

The only thing that ever truly matters is what is happening in the moment.

The past is a collection of passed moments and the future is a series of moments that you anticipate to happen. Neither have ultimate control over you.

Many people allow these nonexistent past moments and hypothetical future moments to dictate how they live their life. This is the basis for each of our Egos.

The truth is, you do not have to live this way. This principle is found in many spiritualities around the world. You can read about it in Eckart Tolle’s books.

The way you choose to interpret your past and anticipate your future directly impacts your reality.

Who Are You?

The words we use, the actions we take, the experiences we’ve had, the people and places we associate ourselves with define, in a traditional sense, who we are and how we see ourselves. They define our reality.

Fortunately, we can actively change our environment, actions and the people we hang around. Effectively changing our reality.

It has been found you can dramatically shift your emotions and ways of thinking by simply changing the words you use and how you frame experiences in your life. Check out this for an interesting experiment.

If you could choose to see yourself in any light, what would it be?

The Now Identity

Extending on the idea that what we do defines who we are, the idea of the Now Identity comes in to play.

Simply, you are what you are currently doing. This works both ways, positively and negatively. If you are smoking, you are a smoker. If you are running, you are a runner. If you are working hard, you are a hard worker.

The idea of you becomes shaped, over time, by how you chose to participate in the series of moments within your life. Life is fluid and dynamic. It changes.  Each moment in life is an opportunity for you to steer yourself in a certain direction.

Defining Reality and Communication

In human dialogue there is a complex, often unseen, series of events that go on as we communicate. As we receive information, our brains begin to tell stories about this information in order to interpret it. This happens on a conscious and subconscious level.

The problem is that the information we use to tell these stories and make interpretations is often limited or wrong. This forces us to make assumptions that can prove disastrous.

A pop culture example… On a recent but past episode of HBO’s Entourage, Eric see’s his past/current love interest, Sloan, lively talking to a well-dressed, handsome man. Immediately, Eric sees this man as competition and rudely interrupts the conversation. It turns out that the man was Sloan’s  cousin and Eric looks like a jackass.

In this example, Eric acted out of line because his ego told him the wrong story based on limited information. In that moment he had turned his reality in to a jealous one, and it was destructive.

We can choose the stories we want to tell ourselves. These stories directly influence how we perceive events. Perception is how we define our reality.

Practical Application

There are a couple of ways to apply this to your life.

First, applying it to yourself… Our emotional state  depends on the stories we tell our selves about the information we have received.

Information is often limited or flat out wrong. Knowing this we should attempt to limit our immediate conclusions until we are absolutely certain we want to adopt a specific interpretation.

Furthermore, we often have a choice in how something is viewed… Is my shirt old, or does it have character? Is my house small, or is it cozy? Is the bar empty, or is it relaxing and low key?

How do you think positive story telling would affect your self esteem and over all well being? The effect is surprising. Try it for a day.

Second, applying this way of interpretation when we interact with others… Since everyone else tells themselves stories to interpret events, and the information used can be distorted, we can adjust our strategy to communicate with them.

We should try to clarify our meaning and intentions by contrasting our statements. Using “I do not mean” to separate possible misinterpretations from your true message. Then, follow with “I do want” or “I do mean” to pinpoint which exact message you wish to send across.

This technique, and many more, are discussed in the book Crucial Conversations.

Using this way of thinking to interpret the moments that surround your life, and applying these communication techniques to your daily interactions, you can truly define your reality.

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If you have some ideas or methods that you use to make life easier, to define your reality in a positive way or other little habits that make you more effective, please share them in the comments section!