In my brief time here on this earth, I have learned that most people panic. They lose control of their minds and bodies. They make poor decisions based on limited logic and high emotion. The end result is usually disastrous.

Great leaders and heroes through history are generally known to be calm, cool and collected under pressure. Their ability to size up a situation, regardless of its circumstances, and then make a logical decision is very powerful and practical.

Sometimes these calm decisions won’t always be right, but in most cases they are far better than panicking and making the situation worse.

Hostile Situations

If you are stranded in water, lost in the woods, faced with a predator or any other hostile opponent; the best thing you can do is remain calm and look for the next best move to make.

Flailing in the water, desperately trying to stay afloat, will drain your energy. If you panic in the woods and run in the wrong direction, you could become further lost. Predators have evolved to target the weak, they can smell fear and will always pursue the insecure, isolated or injured.

The first step when faced with a stressful situation is to remove your emotions and irrational fear. If the odds seem insurmountable, which they rarely are, then you must logically calculate your best move for survival.

Calmly, yet without hesitation, observe then analyze the situation. Next, gather key information that will allow you to most effectively react and take control.

Fight or Flight

When we let our emotions run rampant, our hearts and nerves go wild. Our adrenalin starts to rush. Our bodies almost become uncontrollable. This is our instinctual fight or flight defense mechanism kicking in.

Adrenalin allows us to perform at super human levels. Our pain threshold sky rockets, we are at our strongest, and our normal risk aversion is temporarily gone. This response can be a great tool to escape stressful situations.

However,  overtime, this response can be very unhealthy. An adrenalin response is followed by spike of cortisol in our blood. This hormone is damaging; it can lower your immune system, damage the circulatory system and, among other things, cause ulcers.

After calmly assessing the initial situation, we can control our reaction. If we see a logical plan and the steps we must take to complete it; our flight or fight instinct will remain at bay. The key is recognizing your emotions, then getting a grip on them.

Taking a deep breath and quieting the mind will help you stay calm and centered.

Follow Through

Do you know anyone that remains graceful under pressure? How do they handle stressful situations? Most people are not born this way. Fortunately this trait can be acquired through effort.

The ability to remain cool is generally a result of confidence. Confidence is not achieved until experience has been earned through trail, error and conquered failure.

Repeating the process of calmly gathering information, analyzing it, then making the most appropriate maneuver can be repeated until the hostile situation has been handled.

With enough practice, this skill will become second nature. You can, and will, become the person people will look to in a time of stress.

Are you the pack leader?

I’ve noticed, in times of stress, people will instinctively look to the Alpha of the group to see his response. If people turn to you for advice or help, take it as a compliment rather than a nuisance.

Being the Alpha, or the leader, is a position of power and influence. These types of people  get the job done and subsequently get what they want. Losing your cool is a sure fire way to relinquish your power.

Every situation has an absolute best move to make. It is your duty to find it and do it! It could be the difference between success or failure, life or death.

This idea of luck is a comfortable excuse to explain away another person’s triumph. Luck is mostly a matter of preparation, skill and hard work.

If you really think about it, the idea that there is a magical force randomly granting some people luck or favor, while damning others, is outrageous. It all boils doing to statistics and probability. Fortunately for us, these chances can be influenced.

You may object by saying that sometimes people do just get lucky/unlucky and receive something they don’t deserve… and you are right.  There will always be a chance that something unforeseen goes wrong or right. However, the extent to which you can alter the outcome is greater than you may think.

Preparing for Success

Recognizing opportunities and effectively seizing them takes experience and skill. Conversely, walking through life not learning from the past or preparing for the future is a surefire way to keep yourself ‘unlucky’.

Putting your name in as many hats as possible is a habit that yields results over time. The more you are putting it out there, the more of a chance your idea, pitch, or plan has of making traction.

People often fail to put themselves out there in fear of social rejection. With zero risk, comes zero reward. I will elaborate on the art of putting it out there in the future.

Continuing on, the more people you interact with, the more opportunities you will have to connect. You will find ways to connect your goals to others, and others’ goals to your own opportunities. The creation of a mutually beneficial relationship is a beautiful and prosperous thing.

The most successful way of building this type of relationship is to actively seek out ways to help and connect other people. This may seem counter-intuitive; shouldn’t you be searching for ways you can gain?

The short answer is no, and is explained through the statistics of karma.

Statistical Karma

Karma is the eastern belief of cause and effect. Some schools of thought believe a divine force dishes out the fruits of one’s actions, while other schools believe a person is solely responsible for what their actions bring upon them.

From my perspective, karma and the good/bad events in your life boil down to statistics…

The more good deeds you do, the more positive relationships you form. Likewise with bad deeds; the more wrong you do, the less favor you will have with other people.

In other words, each interaction with another person  is an opportunity to create a positive or negative experience. How you chose to carry out that interaction will have a reverberating, or rippling, effect. Possibly unnoticed or realized until far in the future.

The more often you look to bring value to others, the more positive energy and favor you build. With each value-add, you increase the probability of good coming back to you.

This may seem like common sense, but common sense is rarely common and often is uncomfortable to practice.

Application

Recognizing the affects of karma and preparation, we should strive to take every chance to learn, grow and build positive energy.

Put your name in as many hats by actively speaking up when you hear of an opportunity that matches your, or others, interests

With enough practice you will begin creating your own good fortune and positive karma!

Generally, poor decisions and failure occur  because of two controllable variables:

1. Over analysis
2. Emotional complication

Over Analysis

We often slow or halt our learning process by over analysis. In other words, we do not allow our creative  side to grow through abstract trial and error. The time spent researching and analyzing different technical aspects of the goal take away from the time that should be dedicated to practice…

The actual attempt and practice of a skill towards an objective has the most profound effect on your ability. Unfortunately, the fear of failure motivates many people to defer practice. The term used to describe this common affliction is Analysis Paralysis. It can take hold in any facet of life; work, play, or love.

Conversely, a true master of any skill does not think of how we will perform an action. It just comes naturally. All analysis is subconscious, almost as an instinct. This idea is called Flow.

Flow is synonymous with ‘being in the zone.’ You are fully immersed in the task at hand, successfully completing each goal smoothly.  There is total peace of mind, the opposite of panic.

Emotional Complication

Almost all decisions people make have a strong emotional base to them. The best salesmen know this, and have developed skills that build rapport and positive feelings.

The ability to remove your emotions while analyzing a situation is an important concept in personal development. You have to set your ego aside and truly see the environment for what it is. Recognizing the motivation behind your  own and others ego’s is very helpful in directing outcomes.

An action based purely on initial emotions is generally not the wisest. Often times a situation can be viewed in different lights. The mentality behind ‘is the glass is half full or half empty?’ idea.

Actively applying a positive frame on an experience also contributes to favorable outcomes. It puts you on a wavelength of success, pushing you towards your end goals,  keeping you motivated.

The caveat to this is when people shift blame or responsibility to maintain positively feelings. If the fault lies on you, recognize it, then analyze the steps to correct it next time.

Becoming Better

When you balance these two variables correctly in your quest for personal development, optimal achievement can occur. This is the idea behind the learning curve.

Initially you must build a working technical knowledge base to make an attempt (science). After initial analysis and learning, trials can occur. This performance of the skill provides the opportunity to apply creativity and experimentation (art). Learning from analysis and experimentation is a very efficient method on your path to proficiency (personal growth).

Ultimately, the achievement of any goal is the commitment to get it done. The commitment to continued action and subsequent improvement is the basis for achieving your dreams.

You must approach it two fold… as a scientist and an artist.

Are you doing what is necessary to make your personal development dreams come true?

Building and maintaining a strong social network is a major key to success.

This C2G Challenge aims to rekindle old friendships and strengthen bonds that have been worn down by time and neglect…

Popular Kids

In high school most people wanted to be part of the popular in-crowd. We all wanted to be invited to the right parties, have access to the cool crowds, and know the latest gossip…

As we transition to our adult and professional lives, this craving for social acceptance does not dwindle much. This is for good reason.

There is a direct correlation between the amount of people you know and the amount of opportunities you have a shot at.

Large social networks provide opportunities to jobs, love interests, fun things to do and many more.

Unfortunately, social networks do not flourish with out work and a commitment to activities that grow them. This is the reason behind today’s challenge…

The Challenge

I’ve lost touch with many of my old friends from high school and college. My goal is to reconnect with these people who have made my life great.

My challenge is as follows:

• Everyday, I will  reach out and have two, 5-15 minute, conversations with old friends or contacts from my past. 5 attempts per day.*
• I will make an effort to wish all friends a happy birthday with a phone call or a facebook message.
• I will actively make attempts to connect opportunities with people in my social network.

*If my call goes unanswered, I will leave a pleasant voice mail and a request for a call back.

The goal of each call is to catch up, attempt to match opportunities, and brighten someone’s day.

Start date: September 21st, 2009
End date: October 21st, 2009

This challenge should be relatively easy. The only hindrance will be the potential discomfort of calling someone for no real reason other than to catch up.

I’ll be updating randomly about my progress and thoughts on this challenge. I encourage you to join me in this effort to reconnect with old friends

The ability to be fully aware of your surroundings and what is happening in your mind is very important to your well being. It promotes relaxation, mental focus and increases your ability to connect with others.

It has been found that the ability to delay gratification, as opposed to succumbing to instant gratification, directly correlates with success, intelligence and general health.

Marshmallow Experiments

In an experiment, children were offered one marshmallow, but if they could wait for a certain time period before eating it, they would be granted two.

The children who immediately ate the marshmallow, and the others who delayed gratification, were tracked as they grew up. The remarkable results show a very strong, direct correlation with higher test scores, good behavior and overall success in the children who delayed gratification in order to receive two marshmallows.

Continuing this idea of  time orientation, here is a video that explains how to leverage it for an all around better life.

Application

The idea is to cherish the positive memories, learn from your failures, enjoy the pleasures of the present moment, and make decisions based on your goals for the future.

Appreciate your roots. Learn from the past. Enjoy the moment. Walk the path to your dreams.

Many people are perfectionists. They spend too much time obsessing over minor details.  If you focus on petty flaws, it’s easy to become stressed or discouraged.

Expecting perfection prematurely is a sure fire way to sabotage your goals. The key to growing is progression over time; trying to make each day better than your last. With each step forward you are closer to achieving your dreams. You will get there, as long as you keep moving forward.

Crawl, Walk, Run

There is a learning curve to practically everything in life. Becoming acquainted with a new endeavor is challenging, you must learn the basics. A metaphor of crawling can be used. Like a baby, you begin your journey of growth slowly.

Once you get a grip on the idea, progression becomes easier. You start gaining momentum. You begin walking towards your goal, stretching your legs out.  Creativity begins to strike and you start incorporating your own style.

After you’ve got your legs under you, your skill begins to rapidly increase. You begin running towards your goal. The days of crawling forward are distant moments of your past.

How do you eat an elephant?

Our dreams and goals often seem intimidating. We look at where we are, then imagine where we want to be. The road to that place seems long and arduous. We question our ability to achieve what we aim for.

If you want to eat an elephant, how would do possibly do it? One bite at a time. This is how you achieve your dreams.

Set your sights high. Where do you want to be?

Next, break down that dream in to mile stones. What series of event must take place to put you where you want to be?

Continue breaking down these milestones until you come to where you are today. What is the absolutely next tangible step to put yourself in the direction of where you want to be?

Is it to research schools or certifications? Is it to pick up the phone and schedule an interview? Figure out the smallest, first step to put yourself on the path of progression.

Ready, Fire, Aim

We are often scared to take that initial step. Sometimes we have to leap before we look. It’s a ready, fire, aim mentality.

You point yourself in the right direction, take that first shot, then evaluate what you need to do to improve. If you repeat this process over and over again, you will grow every time. You can truly discover where your passion lies.

Don’t let the Negative Nancys or the Naysaying Neds of the world discourage you from your goals. It is better to risk today, because tomorrow you can always try again.

Breaking the law is a pretty serious thing. When was your last time?

You may have broken it and not even noticed…

If you drive above the speed limit, even by a couple MPH, you are breaking the law. If you J-walk, you are breaking the law. If you text while driving, at least in NC, you are breaking the law. There are even laws that have been passed that restrict what sexual positions you can enjoy.

It is a comfortable thought that law enforcement and the government have our best interests in mind. Unfortunately, this complacent thinking could land you in jail. Learn to flex your rights!

Why Do We Have Laws?

Most laws have been enacted to help keep us safe from ourselves and each other. We are all required to follow the law or be potentially face punishment by jail time, fines, or mandatory community service.

We all have the ability and choice to break or not break the law. If you are arrested for something you did or did not do, the only thing that matters is what that jury decides. Innocent people do go to jail. Guilty people do get off. Your future and freedom is not something you want to leave up to chance.

Blind Faith

There are many people out there who blindly follow the law and what the government says. They do not question why there are certain laws. They simply believe that since the government said so, it must be right and in their best interest.

In a perfect world, these faithful people would be right. In reality, this is not a perfect world and the government does not always do things in our best interest. Police officers and government officials are people. People make mistakes. People can have ulterior motives. People can lie…

There is a common belief that most people out there are “good” or have the common interest at heart. This is an optimistic outlook, and I am all for optimism, but the power of positive thinking will not keep you out of jail if the jury or judge finds you guilty.

Why You Should Never Talk To The Police

Here is a 2-part video from a class given at a law school. In the first video, the law professor discusses why you should never talk to the police without seeking counsel from a defense attorney. The second video features a police detective discussing his tactics to obtain confessions from the people he has arrested.

Closing

I am not advocating that you break the law. We should all lead our lives in a way that causes minimal harm to others.

In America, you are innocent until proven guilty. If you ever find yourself in a situation where law enforcement is involved, be aware of  the potential repercussions of talking to the police. If I ever have to face such a situation, I know I will be using my 5th amendment right to silence.

Suggested Reading/Videos From Around The Web

• How Police Interrogation Works
• The Philosophy of Liberty
• Citizen’s Guide to Surviving a Police Encounter
• Traffic Stop Scenario

Today, I will discuss anti-productivity and getting less done. More importantly, enjoying your (limited) time….

Productive Zombies

Many people out there, who hack their way through the typical 9-5 job,  spend the majority of their waking hours focusing on their job. They are cranking out more widgets, selling more gizmos, calling Mrs. Jones about XYZ, filling out TPS reports, or any other typical work behavior that many adults spend most of their lives doing. Even when they are out of the office, their job stress clouds their mind.

Why do you get up and report to the same place to do the same thing day after day after day? For a paycheck that can buy things you don’t need? Or, do you have certain priorities that require you to trade your time for money?

I’m starting to believe that the life I’ve been conditioned to live is not the right way. The life I speak of is the “American Dream” that goes something like this:  You make good grades in school, so you will get admitted to get to the college, that will allow you to get the job, which will give you the money to buy the house, that you and your spouse can raise your 2.5 kids in,  then teach them the way to do it all over again, after that, you when you are old and gray, you can retire and relax last few years of your life away.

To me that life is boring and predictable. Where is the challenge?  In my old age I want to tell stories of adventure, of triumph and failure, how I had it all, lost it and then got it back again.

Now, if you are one of the lucky ones who loves what they do, cheers to you! Keep doing what you are and love your life.

If you are required to trade your time for money due to things such as bills, debt, a mouth to feed or whatever the case may be, that is understandable but not the only way it has to be.

I am trying to create a life of less. Less TV, less work, less material items. The idea is that hopefully this focusing on less will translate to less debt, less bills, lower stress and more freedom. It will allow me more time to focus on the things that make me happy and are truly important.

We should all lead an enjoyable life. Where the activities you do are intrinsically fulfilling and motivating. You shouldn’t dread getting up in the morning. You shouldn’t have to continue on a zombie-like life.

Being Anti-Productive

Start by trimming all the unimportant things out of your life. Do you really need to buy the latest fashion accessory or that shiny little thing that caught your eye? Can you get by on eating less expensive food? Cutting things out that aren’t necessary will allow you time to be anti-productive, better known as relaxed.

Contrary to what consumerism wants you to believe, you do not have to spend your life going in circles of production then consumption then back again.

More money saved means less money needed to be earned. Thus,  driving down your dependence on your day job. Eventually, if you cut your cost of living down, you will have the ability to do things you truly want to spend your time on.

Having money and material items is not the end all be all. Finding fulfillment in action and experience is what grows true happiness.

The physical and aesthetic benefits of weightlifting and cardio training are obvious. However, the psychological and cognitive effects of exercise are often over looked…

Over-Medicated America

I personally feel that American society today is vastly over medicated. We have pills for anxiety, depression, fat loss, being tired, boner problems, pills to calm you down, to speed you up, to make you focus, ect. The list is endless.

The drug industry is a profitable one. Its obvious if you watch TV; there is a plethora of prescription drug commercials that list every symptom any person could reasonably have and offers a quick fix in a pill. And this marketing method works. They make money hand over fist.

Some of these drugs are valuable, save lives or make life better. However many of these symptoms stem from poor lifestyle choices.

Pharmaceutical companies do not want you to know that a  nutritional diet, proper exercise and adequate rest can cure or prevent a vast majority of diseases and ailments.

I’ll stop my pharmaceutical  rant there…

Reducing Anxiety and Depression

It’s no big secret that running and weight lifting can help you beat stress and feel better about yourself. You may have already heard of a runner’s high or a weight lifter’s pump.

Stress has been linked to many physical and mental ailments; including: immune system deficiencies, balding, sexual performance anxiety and many many more. The bottom line is that if you do not reduce or combat stress, it will hurt your quality of life.

Without writing a research report… exercising has been proven to combat stress in three ways:

1. Rhythmic Therapy – Just about any type of exercise requires a repeated pattern of movement or cadence to be performed, especially cardio workouts. It is theorized that the rhythmic muscle movement calms your brain and quiets cognitive activity associated with anxiety.
2. Thermogenic Effect – This phenomenon is triggered by the hypothalamus (in the brain). It detects  the bodies elevated temperature caused by exercise, and triggers a reaction to reduce certain types of muscle neuron communication. In layman’s terms it allows you to “loosen up.”
3. Beta-Endorphin Release – Your body naturally releases beta-endorphins when under physical strain.  These hormones cause feelings of well being and happiness. This is the runner’s high people talk about after a good run. Due to the half life of this hormone, it sticks around a bit after your exercise.

Those are brief descriptions of how the body’s reaction to exercise can lower stress levels. Physical activity has also been thought to help prevent and treat depression.

Depression can be a very serious mental ailment and is generally treated by a physician. It has been found that in almost all instances that physical activity and exercise has provided some benefit to the depressed individual. Exercise is a good precursor to medical or pharmaceutical treatment because it is cost effective, noninvasive and has no negative side effects. It has been found that proper physical exercise appears to be as effective as medication for individuals experiencing clinical depression.(See: Effects of exercise training on older patients with major depression.1999.)

Depression is correlated with lowered levels of serotonin and norepinephrine. Exercise and resistance training has an anti-depressive effect by increasing these neurotransmitters. There are many other benefits of exercise that can help fight depression including: social interaction, increased confidence, and feelings of independence.

Improving Cognitive Performance

The cognitive benefits of exercise are mainly seen in aging adults. At about age 30, exercising can play a vital role in maintaining brain function. It has been found that reaction time, brain blood flow, dopamine levels, and frontal lobe performance begin to deteriorate with age.

Guess what? Physical activity and exercise promotes recovery of these cognitive deterioration and maintains current brain health!

Personally, I am very fond of my mental capacity and problem solving skills. The fact that physical activity will help me maintain my brain through old age is enough of an argument to keep me pumping iron til the day I die.

Get Off Your Butt and Move!

Work outs do not have to be complex or painful. You do not have to work yourself to complete exhaustion to see these benefits. The premise of effective training is consistent, gradual progression over time. Better yourself each day and you will see great results over the course of your life!

People tend to be loss averse. Meaning that we do not want to waste our resources, or feel like we are.

We often form emotional attachments to our decisions and commitments. For example, if you spend a significant amount of time on a project, an emotional attachment to this project will begin to form. This isn’t a bad thing, it just happens. We tend to form bonds with the things that we spend our resources on.

We feel compelled to recover our investment, even if it requires spending MORE money, time or happiness.

From an economists point of view, this emotional attachment to a past cost can be irrational, illogical and negatively affect our future. This has been coined as the Sunk Cost Fallacy.

The idea is that the past, or previous investment, should not be considered when making a decision. It is a sunk cost, it has already been incurred. Since it can not be recovered, it should not factor in to the decision.

There are only two things that should be considered. Current and future costs and benefits.

For example, Imagine you are half way through watching a movie and realize it is terrible.  If you force yourself to continue and finish the movie because you had already spent time/money on it, you would be committing the sunk cost fallacy. You could be investing your time on something better.

Trent at The Simple Dollar, explains it better than I do in this article.

This emotion based fallacy can often be seen in dysfunctional relationships. When an unhappy couple stays together longer because they’ve been together for so long already. They allow their fear of feeling like they’ve waste their time to make them waste even more time.

Moral of this story: Make now-based decisions. Ask yourself: Is this the best decision to make now? Will the next course of action or investment required worth the risk and subsequent benefit?