Comfort 2 Growth

Does that little voice in your head ever convince you not to do something?

Think about the last time you had to publicly speak or you wanted to approach a cute girl or guy at the bar, did you start talking yourself out of doing it? Did you begin to imagine all the little things that could go wrong or how bad it might hurt if you didn’t know what to say?

The ego is a tool our brain uses to make sense of reality and what is all going on around us. Often times this tool can become a burden. Its fragile sense of self-worth prevents us from taking risks or forces us to do things in order to protect our ego (comfort) boundaries.

Our ego boundary can be defined as our sense of self, the constraints of who we think we are. It defines that voice in our head. The voice that tells us what we deserve, what we should be doing and who we are supposed to be.

A healthy ego boundary can be exemplified by a person who has high self esteem, knows when he is wrong and will admit it. Someone who is outcome independent, meaning that they maintain a positive self image regardless of how a situation turns out, but at the same time recognizes their responsibility or participation in that event. A healthy ego boundary is flexible and does not go to extremes to maintain itself.

On the other hand, an unhealthy ego boundary can be exemplified by someone who will go to extremes to maintain the idea of who they think they are. For example, someone who rationalizes irrational behavior by whatever convenient excuse they can come up with. Someone who always like to play the victim or refuses to admit responsibility for a situation. These people always seem to blame others and think they are right or perfect.

Next, I will present a series of video clips from the movie Revolver which dramatizes a battle of the ego and its boundaries… These videos show how we can become an observer of our ego, effectively realizing that we are not our minds. The thoughts we have are not us, but a creation of our ego. These clips together are about 20 minutes total. If you have the time, I definitely recommend  watching them all.

In this first clip directly below, the concept of the ego is discussed and how it builds our sense of self worth and need for approval. It prepares us for the second clip which showcases the battle of Jake’s ego.

The second clip in this series, which is embedded below, shows a scene where our main character Jake Green goes to murder his perceived enemy. As a point of context, the yellow captions/subtitles at the bottom of the video represent Jake’s ego’s voice, The white captions at the top are Jake’s true self speaking, Ray Liotta or Mr. Macha represents Jake’s perceived enemy. Also, Jake is claustrophobic and terrified of elevators.

Below the video I will have a brief analysis.

As Jake approaches Mr. Macha’s bed his ego (pride) wants retribution for its boundary disruption (the murder of Jake’s friends). Using Andre 3000’s (holy spirit character) advice to use the ego’s enemy to help identify the true enemy (the ego), Jake begins to disconnect from his pride and regains control of his actions.

As Jake enters the elevator and it stops, his fear (ego) of closed spaces kicks in. Jake’s true self begins to recognize the perceived threat is only of his egos making. This allows Jake to conquer his fear and his ego.

At the end of this clip, Jake exits the elevator calm and collected. Mr. Macha (Jake’s ego’s enemy) attempts to dominate and intimidate Jake. Since Jake now controls his ego, Mr. Macha has no influence over him.

Next, the final clip is embedded below. This shows a scene where Andre 3000 discusses the ego’s ability to conceal itself under the guise of being you. This helps illustrate the concept that you are not your mind. That you can have ultimate control of how you feel and how you define your reality.

At the end of this clip there are snippets from different PhDs, MDs and other Pyschoanalysts. I find their discussion very interesting.

You Are Not Your Mind

The purpose of this essay is to make you aware that you can control the thoughts in your mind. That when your ego begins to tell you what or what not to do, that you don’t have to listen.

Sometimes the ego maybe telling you the right thing. That is what we call our conscience. The “angel” on our shoulder telling us not to do something bad to others. But, sometimes the ego prevents us from controlling our future. It prevents us from doing uncomfortable things that will lead to positive growth.

The concept of no-mind, or silencing our ego, is what some people believe is the key to being in the zone. Where you perform at the top of your ability. I will be writing about this no-mind performance in the near future.