Comfort 2 Growth

This is my first post in a series I will call “For Men Only” and abbreviated as ‘FMO’.  This series will cover topics and ideas that revolve around the male life style.

Some of you may have issues with gender roles or have differing ideas about how a man should conduct his life; if you do, please voice your opinions in the comments section. These are only my opinions and thoughts that come from my life experience.

Manning Up

Man up. Be a man about it. Don’t be a little girl. Man handled. Macho Man Randy Savage.

Depending on who you ask, being ‘The Man’ can mean very different things.

I do not have all the traits of the ideal Man. In fact, I am far from it. However, I do have an idea of the man I’d like to be.

Can the quality of a man be measured quantitatively? Maybe. Testosterone, the male sex hormone, regulates functions and influences emotions that make a man act like a ‘Man’. Does the level of Testosterone in your body dictate or limit your ability to be manly?

Testosterone plays a vital role in muscle development. It increases sex drive. On an emotional level, it facilitates dominance and aggression. It promotes facial hair growth and other defining sex characteristics. This is the short list of the positive effects of testosterone on the male body.

Testosterone levels can be influenced. Through natural ways: diet, strength training, sexual activity, and participation in competition. There are also various unnatural ways to increase its presence in the body, generally with dubious side effects.

Are these the only traits that matter?

To me, there are two true signs of being a Man. First, is the willingness to risk discomfort, even pain, to achieve his goal or to take what he wants. Second, is being committed to your word. Saying what you do, doing what you say.

It’s being able to approach that cute girl, even though your ego is begging you not to risk rejection.

It’s not being afraid to stand up and fight for yourself or others when the odds are against you.

It’s being able to recognize when you are wrong, openly admitting it, and taking corrective action.

It is refusing to accept failure by rising above adversity time and time again.

Alpha, Beta or Omega?

I believe every man should strive to be an Alpha male. However, this is unrealistic. When there are too many chiefs and not enough indians, conflict arises and productivity drops.

Some things in life are zero sum games, forcing a clear winner and loser. Knowing this and repeatedly facing those challenges, even after defeat, is important in realizing your potential.

In the world of dating and sex, Alpha Males take dramatically more of their fare share of women. If you’re interested in reading about the Alpha Male in the sexual world, check this out.

There will always be Alpha males and there will also always be Beta males. The question is, what are you doing to be dominant? Are you working to become the best at what you do?

Settling for mediocrity in the endeavors you chose is unacceptable. Why spend your time on something and not strive for excellence? That is the behavior of the Omega.

On the other hand, look at human history and examine the Alpha Male archetypes such as Genghis Khan, who conquered and dominated to the extreme. Are these the people you want to model your self after? (Note: It seems depending on which culture you ask about Genghis Khan, you will receive opposite perceptions and opinions.)

Ruthlessness, aggression and violence seem to correlate with manly/alpha behavior.

Man Morality

If you analyze the various aspects of what it means to be a great Man or an Alpha Male, you run in to some issues with morality.

Is it manly to be misogynistic? Is it manly to have a harem of women? Is it manly to win at all costs, no matter how dirty you play? Is violence necessary to be a man?

This all really depends on who you ask and your cultural norms. For me, being a Man is conquering your goals while minimizing destruction to others. Consider it being a Man of Epicureanism.

While masculine traits can be stereotyped by large muscles, high sex drive, and aggressive tendencies, the true test of your manliness is how you go about your days and your endeavors. You do not have to be some musclebound freak who sleeps with 100s of women to be ‘The Man’.

Do you strive to be the best? Do you lead through example? Being a man is bringing something of value to the table. It’s the willingness to risk personal safety and security to protect what is his and take what he wants.

Becoming a Man

The next time you find yourself in a situation where the outcome may define your man-worth,  step back and ask yourself “What type of man do I want to be characterized as by my children, my friends, my lovers, by historians?” If you are committed to becoming a better man then force yourself to act in a way that is congruent with your goals.

Starting small and remaining consistent is the key to long term change. Here are some baby-step actions you can do right now to put yourself on the path to being a man…

• Be decisive. Make a decision and move. If you were wrong, make no excuses, learn and press forward.
• Never put someone on a pedestal. Your mission is priority #1. Stay on track.
• If you are defeated; hit the weights, train harder and study your game.
• Never sulk. Ever. Embrace and accept your low point then immediately do the small next step to build positive momentum.
• Always follow through on your word. If you cannot, then admit your folly and make amends.

Don’t ever give up, failure is only permanent when you allow it to be.

The true Man should only be afraid of one thing: What his life may become if he choses not to take action.